Tangled Motives

Nov. 8

Read: Genesis 31

Stuck in a Crummy Job? Part 3

Why do we hang around at crummy jobs for so long? What is it that keeps a person “stuck”? Is it fear? Is it laziness? Have we been taught that it is somehow more “Christian” or noble just to hang around?

God will not leave his people “stuck” in crummy jobs forever. He is working to make a way forward for his children. All of us will have seasons where God calls us to endure… to persevere… to suffer and bare weight… but he does not leave us stranded there. Jacob is a prime example. For 20 years Jacob labored for Laban. For 20 years Laban took advantage of Jacob in one way or another. Jacob remained there until the Lord told him to go! Jacob’s years with Laban can teach us a lot. Here is day 3:

Manipulative people will often frame their case in a “noble cause”:

It is very tempting to avoid looking at our own sin and shortcomings, and instead frame situations we are facing artificially as a “matter of principle”. Sometimes we will make a “mountain out of a mole hill” in one situation while neglecting the actual mountain!

When Laban comes to Jacob, he tries to make his “pursuit” a matter of “his daughters leaving” and some form of being deceived: “What have you done, that you have tricked me and driven away my daughters like captives of the sword?” (v.25) This is just a diversion. When you look at the bigger picture you realize that is just not the driving factor. He comes bringing accusations of Jacob scamming him as well as looking for his stolen god(s). (Rachel did indeed steal from her dad… but it was no Jacob. He did not know. v.32) When you look at the way that Leah and Rachel feel about their father, you see the sort of relationship that was there:

“Then Rachel and Leah answered and said to him, “Is there any portion or inheritance left to us in our father's house? Are we not regarded by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and he has indeed devoured our money. All the wealth that God has taken away from our father belongs to us and to our children. Now then, whatever God has said to you, do.” (v.14-16)

Laban wanted to try and pass his angry pursuit off as if he was on some moral “highground”, but in the end it was just another example of Laban being a manipulator. Laban does not actually care about his daughters the way he is presenting it. His relationship with them leading up to this moment shows this. They were willing to leave in the night with Jacob because they didn’t trust their father.

As the people of God, we are called to avoid this tactic of the enemy. We may be tempted to try and frame our situations in overly “principled” terms pretending that a conflict is about one thing when it is actually about another. It is very easy for our motives to become intertwined and tangled together. Take Laban as an example: It is a normal and respectable thing to want to say goodbye to your daughters and grandchildren. The problem is that Laban’s actions had created strained relationships with his girls and they left the way they did because they did not trust their father to treat their family fairly. Laban did not own that reality, instead he accused Jacob. One particularly powerful moment comes when Laban asks Jacob “why?” Jacob answers, “Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force.” (v.31) Laban’s own actions were at the root of how Jacob and his daughters left.

Maybe that was when Laban realized that he had some ownership in the problem? But look at the actions that follow. In the end, the search for his “gods” seemed to take precedent over “kissing his daughters and grandchildren” and “sending them off with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre?”. Notice that Laban did not bring any of that with him. If he had “parting gifts” and blessings for his girls why didn’t he bring those along? Did he come prepared to send them off with a celebration? Was his first order of business giving his girls and grandkids hugs and kisses and telling them he loved them and was afraid he would not be able to say good bye or see them again. No. Between the angry brother in laws, the war party that Laban brought with him, and by his own admission that “he could do Jacob harm”, Laban’s true motives were shining through. In the end, I think God warned Laban in a dream not to mess with Jacob because the Lord knew his intermingled motives… the Lord knew his heart! The Lord knew this was not really as much about seeing his daughters off as it was about greed, anger, and retrieving a pagan “god”.

We must listen to the words of God, he knows our heart and our “tangled” motives. When we are attacked as God’s people, we must understand that these attacks will often be framed in “noble” terms… as matters of principle…but in the end they just may just be a disguise for more selfish or carnal issues. Again we see that more often than not humans want to ignore their part in the problem and place the blame someplace else. Likewise, We must be careful not to do the same things! God had told Jacob to leave, but the way Jacob left was driven by his fear. He was afraid of Laban taking his wives back from him. God does not call us to function out of fear! Jacob was listening to what God said in leaving, but forgetting that God promised he would be with him! Jacob had “muddled motives” as well! His fear and not trusting the Lord to be with him caused him to leave in a way that was somewhat unfair to Laban. Jacob was seeking to justify the way in which he was leaving in his own “noble terms”, instead of leaning into the fact that God had his back! May we ask God to untangle our motives, give us strength to own our “junk”, and free us from functioning in fear! Love you guys. - JDP